I'm not exactly sure what I want to say here. So, I guess I will just speak from the heart, or head, as the case may be.

This Summer has been a growing Summer. I am slowly learning (and, I might as well add, AGAIN here) that there are always things in life that you cannot control, there are those things which you can control (whether or not you choose to is another topic), and those circumstances that make your problems seem like child's play.

I've had my share of times when I am looking into my situation and shaking my head but then I hear of something far worse and I'm ashamed at my attitude and humbled by how little I've been given to really dread and bemoan. I guess what I am saying is that if a person could be inside my brain for long enough, they'd probably walk away saying "what a spoiled little brat" and how I sound so similar to a whining toddler.

We have all heard the phrase, "there will always be somebody better than you at something and somebody worse than you." I don't care so much about that any more. Now, my lesson has changed more to, "there is always someone with more of a burden than you and someone with less of a burden."

What do I do with that information? Do I let it change my attitude from one of self introspection to one of outward empathy? Right now, I'm trying to quiet all the times I've been thinking about how terrible this or that is in my own life and I'm trying to focus on what my friends may be going through. And not just focus on them, but pray for them and when possible, help in practical ways...and I am far far from perfect in these areas! A dear friend (one I am not "close" to...but remember fondly) is in the final breathes of his life. He's not much older than me. 35 I think. He'll be leaving behind a wife (whom, I haven't met, but I've heard she is an amazing, strong woman of God), and 4 young boys. I can't even begin to imagine what that must be like. I am so glad that they have a group of friends and family around them to support them and to minister to them. People who are giving up their time to help. People who are there no matter what. And, I guess, what I'm saying is, that I hope I can be like that someday. Someone who can put aside their own junk to help other people walk through theirs. Lately, I don't think I would be able to do that b/c I'm so busy trying to fix the things in my own world, that I really don't even have any control over in the first place, that I would probably miss what others around me are going through.

So, I'm learning to wake up to what is around me. I'm learning to cherish the people in my life, because you really don't know from one day to another what life will bring your way. There's more that I could say but I think I have given myself enough to think over for one day.