FB

When I first signed up for FB, I was very excited to befriend old schoolmates, connect with family, and stay in touch with friends of various circles. It was very nice to be able to send photos to Granny in SC and to share albums of the kids with other people in such an easy way.

But, over time, I started to have problems with FB. Well, not really FB, but more so with my own thoughts and perceptions. It didn't take long before I'd see statuses by friends and start thinking and comparing them to my own life situations.

I'd see someone on vacation somewhere and think, "oh, it must be nice to go away and not have to worry about the cost." I'd see someone flirting with their husband online (in a modest manner) and think, "oh, I wish Eddie had FB so he could say cute things like that to me." Or, I'd see that people went away for the day as a group and think, "it must be nice to be able to hang out with a group and laugh and live life together." Do you notice a trend? Every time someone was happy about something in their life, I was beginning to turn it into something to be jealous of. So, instead of being excited for a vacationer, I'd be annoyed. Instead of being happy that a couple remembers to make time for one another, I'd feel like my own relationship wasn't where it should be. Instead of being excited for people who got out and had fun with others and asking to see pics or hear funny stories about their adventures, I'd begin to seethe and wonder what was wrong with me that I didn't get invited, too.

Simply put, I've entered into a battle with myself. It's a battle of self worth, jealousy, and contentment. It's probably always been there but FB shone the light on it. So, now I need to put my focus back to where it belongs and that starts with remembering who God says I am and looking to Him to fill my voids....not FB.

So, for those of you wondering why my sudden departure from FB, that's why. It's ugly. It's immature. It's also the truth of the matter. Someday, hopefully, I'll be able to rejoice when others rejoice and to stand in the mirror and see a person wonderfully made by God but right now, I struggle with it so FB is not the place for me. Hopefully, others reading this do not struggle as much as me with this and are able to view FB for what it is... a social interaction tool. Not a measuring stick.