I worked on Sat from 12-5 but afterwards, we decided to make it a movie night. We ate supper while we watched Madagascar and then had some snacks, too. It was nice to chill out together! The kids did a sleepover (w/TRex of course) in Amanda's room and they did pretty well with it! They usually drive us nuts with the loudness but they kept it pretty quiet! I think they were exhausted!
On Sunday, we skipped church and went to Middle Creek. We hiked around for about an 1 1/2 hrs and enjoyed the smells of Autumn! We took butt loads of snacks w/us, which the kids seemed to need every 10 minutes!
After we got home, we all had some lunch and then me and Amanda made some honey cookies. David and Michaela helped a little bit but they spent most of the time playing with their friend, Justin. After the cookies were done, and supper was done, we ended up coloring together and playing Cranium Cariboo. Overall, it was a very nice weekend and it was good to spend some quality time together.
I miss weekends like that. I think I am going to talk with one of the managers at work and see if I can start getting some more day time hours. I've really hated being away from the family at night and the kids feel it, too. My attitude has been really, really, bad lately so it would be nice if maybe I can get some day time hours. The only problem w/that is finding sitters though. It's not an easy situation. I'm trying to look on the positive side but there hardly seems to be one. Anyhow, before I start sinking myself deeper into my funk, I'll end here and go enjoy a cup of coffee.
Thanks for being patient w/me. I know I've not been the easiest person to be around. I don't even want to be around myself! Now, that's bad!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Tissue, please!
It's that time of the year again and if your house is anything like my house, you have a steady supply of tissues, or toilet paper, right now.
Amanda has been out of school all week w/fever and cold like (or, dare I say it, FLU like) symptoms. Now, today, David is home with 101 temp. and similar symptoms. So far, Eddie and I are healthy. Michaela is, too. I wonder how long the three of us will last? It's my guess that Eddie will be fine until it is time to return to work. Wouldn't that just be how life goes?
I emailed David's teacher and she said that their class has been hit hard. It's a wonder that the schools are even bothering this year. The teachers are going to be teaching the chairs pretty soon.
I hate to say this, but I think some of you will relate. It's sorta nice that David and Amanda are home sick. We'll get a chance to watch a movie together. Drink hot chocolate together. Eat junk (what else is there when you're sick?) and just chill. Sorta a relaxing day. I'm sure I'll be chomping at the bit later after hours of listening to a hacking cough. But, for now, it'll be nice to enjoy our time together. Hopefully, they'll heal quickly and be up and running around soon.
So, in the meantime, pass the tissues, please!
Amanda has been out of school all week w/fever and cold like (or, dare I say it, FLU like) symptoms. Now, today, David is home with 101 temp. and similar symptoms. So far, Eddie and I are healthy. Michaela is, too. I wonder how long the three of us will last? It's my guess that Eddie will be fine until it is time to return to work. Wouldn't that just be how life goes?
I emailed David's teacher and she said that their class has been hit hard. It's a wonder that the schools are even bothering this year. The teachers are going to be teaching the chairs pretty soon.
I hate to say this, but I think some of you will relate. It's sorta nice that David and Amanda are home sick. We'll get a chance to watch a movie together. Drink hot chocolate together. Eat junk (what else is there when you're sick?) and just chill. Sorta a relaxing day. I'm sure I'll be chomping at the bit later after hours of listening to a hacking cough. But, for now, it'll be nice to enjoy our time together. Hopefully, they'll heal quickly and be up and running around soon.
So, in the meantime, pass the tissues, please!
Friday, October 9, 2009
Ch Ch Ch Changes.....
It's been a long, long, long time since I last blogged. It seems like life has been moving along rapidly and my thoughts are being left in the dust, without the chance to really form into a concrete thought pattern.
At my last post, I was interviewing for various jobs. I did finally land a job w/the local grocery store, Weavers Market. I'm now your friendly, neighborhood cashier and bagger. I work evenings until closing, which, depending on the day is either 9 or 10pm. I have been working part of my Sat, too. I just interviewed for another position w/the IU (a corp that helps in the classrooms w/special needs children). So far, that seems really promising. They've actually called and spoken to some of my references already and told my references that they were impressed w/me. We'll see where that goes.
My heart has been twisted in several different directions. I really battled looking for work to begin with because it felt like something was being robbed from me. Eddie and I sacrificed so much so that I could stay home with the kids and this year was supposed to be the year that I got to stay home and wait for my last child to come home from 1/2 day K and spend the afternoon with her. I earned that, after all, didn't I? I was looking forward to coffee w/the other Moms, running errands ALONE, having time with Eddie (since he is out of work still), and spending time exercising, reading my Bible, etc.
Then, Eddie's shut down got extended by a month and it was clear that I needed a job asap. So, I began looking for work. Somewhere in that process, God spoke to my heart and told me how selfish I was being and that really, any time I have off from the kids or duties isn't just my time to do whatever I feel like with it. It's His time. So, I began to consider other ways that I could use my time and realized that working or volunteering would be a better use of any time I had than just soaking it all up for ME. Not that I can't or shouldn't have time for me, but I was making this entire thing about me....which is never good. At that point, I interviewed w/Weavers and landed the evening job.
That ended up being a relief b/c I still have my daytime to do some of the things that I envisioned and can still volunteer in Amanda's class. And, I'm thinking about doing nursing home visitation, too...but I need to see how the IU turns out first. It seemed like as soon as I started asking God what He wanted me to do with my time and I was okay letting go of it, He gave it back to me. How awesome is that?
Shortly after I got the job at Weavers another blow to my heart took place. Amanda was being offered EDK...extended day kindergarten. She needs extra help w/her letters, etc. so after her am K session, she has lunch, recess, and then attends another class for extra help w/a diff teacher and 14 other students. It was hard enough letting my last baby go off to school and grow up more but it was entirely different to let her be gone all day long. I really battled guilt as a Mom...feeling like I failed her somehow. And, feeling like I'd be saying a long farewell to her..sooner than I expected b/c now, instead of seeing her for 1/2 day, I'd see her for about an hour...before I had to go to work.
The next twist in my heart came when I found out, at about that same time, that David was going to be entered in the reading support program. Again, the guilt. I failed him, too. I didn't have him reading enough over the Summer. Now, he had to adjust to going from 1/2 day K last year to a full day schedule in 1st gr this year AND a new reading support program, too. Ugh!
In the midst of all of these changes, I have had to fight against feelings of guilt and loss. Going into the school year, I was prepared to say goodbye to a lot of things. Goodbye to long summer nights chasing fireflies and making smores over the fire pit. Goodbye to seeing the kids and doing things w/them on a random basis. I was also ready to say hello to some things, too. Hello to homework. Hello to less time as a family. Hello to illness. Hello to busy schedules. I knew what to expect. I didn't expect working 20 hrs a wk and only seeing the fam for abt an hr. I didn't expect to say goodbye to family suppers. I didn't expect to say goodbye to reading bedtime stories. I didn't expect to say goodbye to bedside chatter w/sleepy kids. I didn't expect to say goodbye to family fun nite on Fridays. I didn't expect to say goodbye to social Saturdays. I didn't expect having to say goodbye to our youngest child to the full school day. There's a mourning process that takes place when you let go of so many things at once. And, some days I hardly feel it at all but other times, it's a more pressing pain.
I think that there are more changes coming, too. If I take the job w/the IU during the day, it'll bring more changes. When Eddie returns to work, it'll bring more changes. He goes back on Oct 29th. How is he going to handle going to work for 10-12 hrs and then coming home to deal w/supper, homework, scouts, trumpet practice, baths, bedtime? When will we see each other? He will most likely be in bed, or just about in bed by the time I get in. But, I can't focus on that, because it's too far away. We have to take it as it comes. At least I do. I can't ponder on it because it will only discourage me. I can't see the future so I'm not going to imagine that I can see how our lives will look down the road. I just have to mount those obstacles as they come.
As I look ahead to the changes that are coming, I keep reminding myself that God is there in the midst of the changes with us. Just as He's gotten us through every other hard time, He'll give us the strength and the grace to stand up under these times, too. He doesn't always make the situation easier (sometimes He does) but He does promise that you'll have the strength and the grace to handle what you're walking through.
Now that I've finally unburdened my heart and caught everyone up to date, it's time to go accomplish some other tasks. I don't know what you're facing as you read this. But, remember, no matter what it is, life is good. It's not always easy. But it's good. No day is exactly alike. The things you are facing today will vanish. And, most importantly, through it all, God is with you in it and through it...waiting....not forcing Himself in your life, but there if you chose to accept the peace and grace He offers. It's what has gotten me through all of our changes and what will sustain me through the ones ahead.
At my last post, I was interviewing for various jobs. I did finally land a job w/the local grocery store, Weavers Market. I'm now your friendly, neighborhood cashier and bagger. I work evenings until closing, which, depending on the day is either 9 or 10pm. I have been working part of my Sat, too. I just interviewed for another position w/the IU (a corp that helps in the classrooms w/special needs children). So far, that seems really promising. They've actually called and spoken to some of my references already and told my references that they were impressed w/me. We'll see where that goes.
My heart has been twisted in several different directions. I really battled looking for work to begin with because it felt like something was being robbed from me. Eddie and I sacrificed so much so that I could stay home with the kids and this year was supposed to be the year that I got to stay home and wait for my last child to come home from 1/2 day K and spend the afternoon with her. I earned that, after all, didn't I? I was looking forward to coffee w/the other Moms, running errands ALONE, having time with Eddie (since he is out of work still), and spending time exercising, reading my Bible, etc.
Then, Eddie's shut down got extended by a month and it was clear that I needed a job asap. So, I began looking for work. Somewhere in that process, God spoke to my heart and told me how selfish I was being and that really, any time I have off from the kids or duties isn't just my time to do whatever I feel like with it. It's His time. So, I began to consider other ways that I could use my time and realized that working or volunteering would be a better use of any time I had than just soaking it all up for ME. Not that I can't or shouldn't have time for me, but I was making this entire thing about me....which is never good. At that point, I interviewed w/Weavers and landed the evening job.
That ended up being a relief b/c I still have my daytime to do some of the things that I envisioned and can still volunteer in Amanda's class. And, I'm thinking about doing nursing home visitation, too...but I need to see how the IU turns out first. It seemed like as soon as I started asking God what He wanted me to do with my time and I was okay letting go of it, He gave it back to me. How awesome is that?
Shortly after I got the job at Weavers another blow to my heart took place. Amanda was being offered EDK...extended day kindergarten. She needs extra help w/her letters, etc. so after her am K session, she has lunch, recess, and then attends another class for extra help w/a diff teacher and 14 other students. It was hard enough letting my last baby go off to school and grow up more but it was entirely different to let her be gone all day long. I really battled guilt as a Mom...feeling like I failed her somehow. And, feeling like I'd be saying a long farewell to her..sooner than I expected b/c now, instead of seeing her for 1/2 day, I'd see her for about an hour...before I had to go to work.
The next twist in my heart came when I found out, at about that same time, that David was going to be entered in the reading support program. Again, the guilt. I failed him, too. I didn't have him reading enough over the Summer. Now, he had to adjust to going from 1/2 day K last year to a full day schedule in 1st gr this year AND a new reading support program, too. Ugh!
In the midst of all of these changes, I have had to fight against feelings of guilt and loss. Going into the school year, I was prepared to say goodbye to a lot of things. Goodbye to long summer nights chasing fireflies and making smores over the fire pit. Goodbye to seeing the kids and doing things w/them on a random basis. I was also ready to say hello to some things, too. Hello to homework. Hello to less time as a family. Hello to illness. Hello to busy schedules. I knew what to expect. I didn't expect working 20 hrs a wk and only seeing the fam for abt an hr. I didn't expect to say goodbye to family suppers. I didn't expect to say goodbye to reading bedtime stories. I didn't expect to say goodbye to bedside chatter w/sleepy kids. I didn't expect to say goodbye to family fun nite on Fridays. I didn't expect to say goodbye to social Saturdays. I didn't expect having to say goodbye to our youngest child to the full school day. There's a mourning process that takes place when you let go of so many things at once. And, some days I hardly feel it at all but other times, it's a more pressing pain.
I think that there are more changes coming, too. If I take the job w/the IU during the day, it'll bring more changes. When Eddie returns to work, it'll bring more changes. He goes back on Oct 29th. How is he going to handle going to work for 10-12 hrs and then coming home to deal w/supper, homework, scouts, trumpet practice, baths, bedtime? When will we see each other? He will most likely be in bed, or just about in bed by the time I get in. But, I can't focus on that, because it's too far away. We have to take it as it comes. At least I do. I can't ponder on it because it will only discourage me. I can't see the future so I'm not going to imagine that I can see how our lives will look down the road. I just have to mount those obstacles as they come.
As I look ahead to the changes that are coming, I keep reminding myself that God is there in the midst of the changes with us. Just as He's gotten us through every other hard time, He'll give us the strength and the grace to stand up under these times, too. He doesn't always make the situation easier (sometimes He does) but He does promise that you'll have the strength and the grace to handle what you're walking through.
Now that I've finally unburdened my heart and caught everyone up to date, it's time to go accomplish some other tasks. I don't know what you're facing as you read this. But, remember, no matter what it is, life is good. It's not always easy. But it's good. No day is exactly alike. The things you are facing today will vanish. And, most importantly, through it all, God is with you in it and through it...waiting....not forcing Himself in your life, but there if you chose to accept the peace and grace He offers. It's what has gotten me through all of our changes and what will sustain me through the ones ahead.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Job Interview
I have a job interview w/the school district on Mon, 6/22 at 7:15am for a ft special ed. paraprofessional! I have no clue how many ppl are being interviewed. Pray that God's will be done.
Thanks!
Thanks!
Monday, June 8, 2009
Employment Update
Hey everyone!
Eddie called from work today. They found out that 22 ppl have signed on for the early retirement package so we THINK that means they won't be doing a lay off....but we're not 100% sure about that.
In other news, they are shutting down the plant from Aug 17-Oct 5. They are going to kick in some money towards insurance. I think Eddie will get about 70% of his normal pay.
So, it's not looking great. But, I think it will all be okay. We'll just keep doing what we can to save up and be wise. Which means the girls bday party will consist of just pb&j probably and I'll make the cakes. It also means that I really need to find a job, too. So, keep praying about that. I'll be sending out more apps soon.
I'm not really that concerned about it. Maybe I should be. But, we've been through enough rough times for me to know that we'll make it. God will allow us to walk through the tough times but He'll walk through it with us.
Eddie called from work today. They found out that 22 ppl have signed on for the early retirement package so we THINK that means they won't be doing a lay off....but we're not 100% sure about that.
In other news, they are shutting down the plant from Aug 17-Oct 5. They are going to kick in some money towards insurance. I think Eddie will get about 70% of his normal pay.
So, it's not looking great. But, I think it will all be okay. We'll just keep doing what we can to save up and be wise. Which means the girls bday party will consist of just pb&j probably and I'll make the cakes. It also means that I really need to find a job, too. So, keep praying about that. I'll be sending out more apps soon.
I'm not really that concerned about it. Maybe I should be. But, we've been through enough rough times for me to know that we'll make it. God will allow us to walk through the tough times but He'll walk through it with us.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Employment
Eddie had a big meeting at work today. There is good news and not so good news. As many of you already know, the agricultural industry, and their suppliers have taken a big hit w/the current economic situation. Which, is not unlike many other industries right now.
They gave notice that they will be laying off 2o employees. They have also offered roughly 100 employees aged 55+ a lump sum payment of 32k and some change and their full retirement plan if they decide to go. If enough of those ppl opt in then they would make up the 20 employees about to get laid off. Rumor has it that at least 10 ppl are willing to take that route.
They company always does a shut down for about 2 wks at the end of June-July 4th wknd and a similar length btwn Christmas and right after New Years. They notified the employees today that they are extending these by another 4 wks, to be spread out over the course of the year. Eddie has exact dates but he didn't give them to me. He'll be able to collect unemployment for 3 of those 4 wks. He might be able to collect for all 4 wks. He has to find out if he is still active in the system from his last unemployment claim.
Anyhow, just wanted to let everyone know what was going on. If Eddie is one of the 20 to get laid off, we'll let you know. We'll be praying abt it. I know that it'll all be ok no matter what happens. God will take care of us. Worse case scenario, we sell our house and move into something cramped and cheap. But, we'll take it as it comes and see what happens.
I know that we're not the only ones in this boat though, so there is comfort in numbers, right? :) I hope that the economy starts to turn around but w/war seemingly pending in N.Korea, I don't see that happening any time soon.
But, that's another subject altogether.
They gave notice that they will be laying off 2o employees. They have also offered roughly 100 employees aged 55+ a lump sum payment of 32k and some change and their full retirement plan if they decide to go. If enough of those ppl opt in then they would make up the 20 employees about to get laid off. Rumor has it that at least 10 ppl are willing to take that route.
They company always does a shut down for about 2 wks at the end of June-July 4th wknd and a similar length btwn Christmas and right after New Years. They notified the employees today that they are extending these by another 4 wks, to be spread out over the course of the year. Eddie has exact dates but he didn't give them to me. He'll be able to collect unemployment for 3 of those 4 wks. He might be able to collect for all 4 wks. He has to find out if he is still active in the system from his last unemployment claim.
Anyhow, just wanted to let everyone know what was going on. If Eddie is one of the 20 to get laid off, we'll let you know. We'll be praying abt it. I know that it'll all be ok no matter what happens. God will take care of us. Worse case scenario, we sell our house and move into something cramped and cheap. But, we'll take it as it comes and see what happens.
I know that we're not the only ones in this boat though, so there is comfort in numbers, right? :) I hope that the economy starts to turn around but w/war seemingly pending in N.Korea, I don't see that happening any time soon.
But, that's another subject altogether.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Friendships
I used to think that when I didn't hear from my friends, that they were either busy and couldn't find time for me, or that they didn't want to spend time w/me. I realized something though. Sometimes, when a friend is silent, it may mean that they're struggling through something.
I think I have come to rely on FB and email way too much, as a means of keeping up friendships. When I write an email or a wall post, it does let the person know that I am thinking of them, but it can't replace an actual phone call or a face to face encounter. There's just something about actually speaking w/someone that connects you to them and what they are going through. I realized that I use those other means of communication as a way of protecting myself, too. If I post on someone's wall, or shoot them an email, there's less personal investment on the line for me and I don't stand as a high a chance of being rejected....it's a wall...a protective wall. But, I know now, that it not only stands as a wall to protect me, but it stands as a wall to keep me from coming alongside someone and being a true friend to them.
I recently spoke w/someone and found out that they were going through a ton of stuff in the past year and I had no clue. I had FB them and emailed them but had very few conversations. I apologized and said that I had no idea that they needed a friend and apologized for not being there. The person I was talking to said, "sometimes when you are going through a struggle, you don't even think to reach out to anyone." That sat on me like a lead weight. There are too too many times when I view other's people's silence, or lack of interaction w/me as a personal affront, not stopping to think that maybe the reason I don't hear from someone is because they are so deep in the mire that they can't even get their head above the surface long enough to make a phone call to me.
I know that I have friends who will most likely be just my FB buddies or my email buddies b/c of distance or what have you. And, in those circumstances, I'm grateful for the technology to keep us all connected. But, for those friendships that are local and nearby, I realize that I need to start letting my walls down and actually CALL ppl and speak to them... not just use FB or email to stay in touch. I was reminded that in taking the time to talk w/others, I'm allowing them to come alongside me and then I'm able to come alongside them. And, no matter how hard I try, that just isn't something that I can do w/FB and email alone. They are great tools for me...but that's just it...they're tools. And, I've allowed them to replace the realness of relationships w/others.
So, that's what I've learned lately. I hope I allow it to teach me and change me.
I think I have come to rely on FB and email way too much, as a means of keeping up friendships. When I write an email or a wall post, it does let the person know that I am thinking of them, but it can't replace an actual phone call or a face to face encounter. There's just something about actually speaking w/someone that connects you to them and what they are going through. I realized that I use those other means of communication as a way of protecting myself, too. If I post on someone's wall, or shoot them an email, there's less personal investment on the line for me and I don't stand as a high a chance of being rejected....it's a wall...a protective wall. But, I know now, that it not only stands as a wall to protect me, but it stands as a wall to keep me from coming alongside someone and being a true friend to them.
I recently spoke w/someone and found out that they were going through a ton of stuff in the past year and I had no clue. I had FB them and emailed them but had very few conversations. I apologized and said that I had no idea that they needed a friend and apologized for not being there. The person I was talking to said, "sometimes when you are going through a struggle, you don't even think to reach out to anyone." That sat on me like a lead weight. There are too too many times when I view other's people's silence, or lack of interaction w/me as a personal affront, not stopping to think that maybe the reason I don't hear from someone is because they are so deep in the mire that they can't even get their head above the surface long enough to make a phone call to me.
I know that I have friends who will most likely be just my FB buddies or my email buddies b/c of distance or what have you. And, in those circumstances, I'm grateful for the technology to keep us all connected. But, for those friendships that are local and nearby, I realize that I need to start letting my walls down and actually CALL ppl and speak to them... not just use FB or email to stay in touch. I was reminded that in taking the time to talk w/others, I'm allowing them to come alongside me and then I'm able to come alongside them. And, no matter how hard I try, that just isn't something that I can do w/FB and email alone. They are great tools for me...but that's just it...they're tools. And, I've allowed them to replace the realness of relationships w/others.
So, that's what I've learned lately. I hope I allow it to teach me and change me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)